Listen To Women

At the time of writing this song, I was inspired by Swedish environmentalist Greta Thunberg and The Squad, (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Ayanna Pressley, Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar) American congresswomen who banded together with shared values on inclusivity and not being afraid of Donald Trump.

At the time I also began reading bell hooks‘ book Feminism is for Everybody. I was raised by a community leader: my mum founded a playgroup and looked after my brother and I with the kind of love that brings tears to my eyes when I think of it here. We grew up in the era of the Gulf War, and reflecting on that period of my life, I was aware then even at a young age that, I didn’t see any women there… I wonder if other children of that age remember that time?

There is a power in the idea of man, of patriarchy, that I do believe will continue tear us apart without deep reflection. Men killed by men in conflict is millions through history. World War 2 alone is estimated at 60-100 million.


The song – here as a first mix (so to say not quite finished buy good enough to share I feel) was put together with musician friends (below) and the few nights of bringing it together in my headphones were the few days before the story of Sarah Everard came to light.

To the 118 women who were killed in the last year by men in the UK, read here. by MP Jess Philipps I have a few words I put at the Sarah Everard memorial drawn out below.

In this sharing space, I would like to do just what the song is asking for, brothers, a moment to listen- I’ll stop after this intro!

Could be audio recorded or written I suppose a question starter would be what does equality for women and feminism mean to you? If you did want to write something you can contact me and I’ll post it there.

Thanks musicians and women friends who helped me shape the lyrics

Piano: Monica Max West/ Clarinet: Martha Wright/ Cello: Naomi Haigh/ Drums: Tim Monkey/ Women’s voices: Karen Davies. Kasia Stephens, Melissa James, Monica Max West, Lizhuo Zhang, Manu Farenzena – Men’s voices: Dave Vered, Robbie Campbell, Josh Donaldson, Jonathan Ryan, Doran Amaos and Sebastian Shustler.

bell hooks from the book Feminism is For Everybody

“Simply put, feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression. This was a definition of feminism I offered in Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center more than 10 years ago. It was my hope at the time that it would become a common definition everyone would use. I liked this definition because it did not imply that men were the enemy. By naming sexism as the problem it went directly to the heart of the matter. Practically, it is a definition which implies that all sexist thinking and action is the problem, whether those who perpetuate it are female or male, child or adult. It is also broad enough to include an understanding of systemic institutionalized sexism. As a definition it is open-ended. To understand feminism it implies one has to necessarily understand sexism.” 



I am 67 years old. I suppose I must have, on the whole, touch wood, learned to be safe. I am afraid it did involve having to be a bit wary of men. Strangers, and people I knew. As a quite young woman I decided that flat shoes and long jackets were safer. I learned to carry a shoulder bag, never a handbag, to be ready to wind the strap of my bag round my wrist so that I could swing it at somebody’s face. I learned to hold my keys between my knuckles, how to choose where to sit on a bus, or a train. I learned all the alternative routes from the station or bus stop to my home. I discovered those tactics enabled me to go to more places and to get home after working late without being followed, groped or chased. I learned these things from other women, both older ones and my contemporaries. Other women I knew, also wary, accepted more restrictions on where and when they went, for the trade off of wearing heels, and short skirts. Should we have had to learn these things? Should it have been necessary for us to make those choices? Should anyone feel a need to impose a curfew on themselves because of the way other people behave? I do not think a curfew is the answer but I do think if anybody’s liberty is to be restricted, it is the potential perpetrators, not the victims. Forensic statistics are pretty clear. Most victims of violent crime are men, but perpetrators of violence against men or women are predominantly men.

I would advise my council to keep streets well lit. I would advise the police to use their powers to make the streets safer. I would advise parents, sisters, brothers, grandparents, teachers, to show and tell boys and young men how to treat women and men with respect and that this does not need to involve violence. I would advise people not to watch violent porn. I would advise them to think before buying yet another thriller about serial killing or stalkers. I would advise politicians, whatever their gender, to think before assuming that women’s pay is unimportant because men are the main earners. Because I really hate to have to advise people to be wary of all men. But just now……


I am looking from the through the window of my work over many years with young people and their families. I have seen the havoc wreaked upon families by controlling and violent partners/fathers who hold financial power over women trying to do their best for a family in crisis. Many of these women have been worn down through violence, deprivation and emotional abuse and doubt their own ability to fuction independantly and fear they will lose their children if they leave or dare incomplience, “Go on, walk out, there’s the door but you’ll not get a penny, you’ll be on the streets and you’ll never see the kids again”. Hear this too many times and you begin to believe it. It is only recently that domestic violence began to be investigated as a crime. It was “a domestic incident, none of our business if he gives her a wallop”. I am aware that domestic violence and coercion goes two ways but the scales are weighed in favour of men in most cases

In my working experience I sometimes encountered whole communities where unequal power in favour of men was the norm. The women who did manage to get out were also disadvantaged and often thought of as “lesser”. Male dominence was part of the “culture” and a “quick slap to keep her in line” no more than his right! Girls learned to cook and clean and be aware of the male position in the home. Boys learned male persuits and went for their “first pint” with their dad, encouraged to “”sow their wild oats” and “marry a velirgin”. Their own girls, of course, were told “not to bring trouble home” and that girls who did were “sluts and whores and no girl of his….etc”. Many of these familieswere under the radar so to speak. It was so part of the culture. That is where statistics become problematic. Lived experiences only come to light when something out of the “ordinary” happens or help is sought. You cannot blame women for not seeking help when they feel they are pushing against everything they know. Then there is the rest of us. While our male counterparts have a culture of freedom, we have to plan where we go alone with utmost precision. My other half will take a map and walk 16 miles alone, only considering his ability to get back. I on the other hand would have many other considerations. I love wild places but I rarely venture far alone x


Thank/Merci you Lilli for sending these films about the French explorer Alexandra David-Néel (this picture above links to the first part then add 2/5 to the description for the rest- and this second one:

from online biography: Alexandra David-Néel (born Louise Eugénie Alexandrine Marie David; 24 October 1868 – 8 September 1969) was a Belgian–French explorer, spiritualist, Buddhist, anarchist and writer. She is most known for her 1924 visit to Lhasa, Tibet, when it was forbidden to foreigners. David-Néel wrote over 30 books about Eastern religion, philosophy, and her travels, including Magic and Mystery in Tibet, which was published in 1929. Her teachings influenced the beat writers Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg

One thought on “Listen To Women

  1. Merci Joe du partage. Je suis tombée en amour et en admiration pour cette femme Alexandra David-Neel par son modernisme ou avant-guardisme ! Bravant à son époque les carcans dans laquelle son époque enfermait les femmes, elle a fait un périple de plusieurs années pour faire découvrir le Bouddhisme et le Tibet aux Occidentaux. On entend dans sa voix, tout ce trajet de vie dans la cultivation de la joie, malgré les défis culturels et physiques. Avec amour et gratitude. 🙏 Lili

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s